Stella Artois is a crappy
French Belgian beer* that is marketed to Americans as a sophisticated and upscale brew. Make no mistake here, this stuff sucks ass. It has a soapy and metallic flavor that is slightly sweet and yet also somehow bland. It pours a clear piss-yellow with a fizzy head that disappears quickly, and this beer so lacking in flavor that I would not even use it for cooking purposes, just a total waste of water, barley, hops and yeast. The sad thing is that I see so many people drinking it and you just know they think they are the height of sophistication with this swill in their hand, probably in the mistaken belief that it is brewed by robed monks, who chant Te Deums, in a monastery that looks like the set of The Name of the Rose.
Why would anyone drink this shit?
*Stella Artois is brewed in Belgium, not France as I originally wrote. And as Bladdamasta of the awesome Australian beer blog Back of the Ferry notes in the comments, it is brewed by Fosters under contract in Australia, so the stuff available in the USA might well be brewed in Downtown Fucking Passaic for all I know or care.
It still sucks.