Shite and Onions: Miller High Life

I hate lousy beer, but god damn it, I LOVE AMERICA!


You package your product in the Red, White, and Blue, and I will pony up the cash to buy it. In the words of Abraham Lincoln, “Yo, Everything tastes better when the label is patriotic. Word!

Out of all the shitty beers I have been drinking, Miller High Life is the best of the sorry lot. Not saying it is good, because it is not, but it has the most beer like flavor out of any them, and in a world of thin watery beers, this has some body to it. All that in a quart can decorated all patriotic and shit, and I got change back from two bucks when I bought it. Hard to beat that deal.

This is why George Washington was crucified, so that we could pop open a Red, White, and Blue quart of the High Life, pour a little out for our dead homies (JFK, MLK, and Anna Nicole Smith for starters), set off some fireworks, grill some weenies, scream obscenities at our neighbors, and get soused. Do it for George. Do it for Grover Cleveland. Do it for America.

Reagan riding a Velociraptor while firing a Machine Gun. If you don't love this, go swim to Cuba!

America. If you don’t love it, why don’t you just move to Russia?

One Response to Shite and Onions: Miller High Life

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