Southern Star Le Mort Vivant

February 26, 2012

As I have the most sophisticated readership of any beer blog on the net, I won’t bother explaining why Southern Star named their recent seasonal Le Mort Vivant. You have all already concluded that it is an obvious homage to the 1912 French film of the same name, and I do not want to get bogged down in the semiotic minutiae implied therein, and let’s not even get started on the hermeneutic inferences that any sentient being would draw.*

The Le Mort Vivant poured a deep orange with a sour apple and dried fruit aroma. There was a slight head on the initial pour, but it vanished quickly. It had that funky yeast taste that is the hallmark of Belgian style beers. There was some warmth from the alcohol and a toffee aftertaste. This is a change of pace from Southern Star’s other beers. I did not love it, but I did not hate it either, 6/10.

*I have no fucking idea what I am talking about.


Advice to the Ladies on Your Internet Dating Profile; Also, Beer

January 16, 2011

I have undertaken a detailed sociological study of profiles posted by women on internet dating websites for a project* I am working on.  I present to all of you, free of charge, the following advice: Read the rest of this entry »


Best of 2010: The 68th Annual Tiltie Awards

December 27, 2010

As the end of the year approaches, it is time for the 2010 Tiltie Awards, the most prestigious awards to be found anyplace on these here intertubes.  We (‘we’ is a lie, it is only me, sitting on the couch in my underwear, when I can find underwear that is, so yeah, sometimes I am naked) have been giving these Golden Can Opener Statues (no such statues exist) since the 1940s (another lie). While a Tiltie is not as prestigious as an Oscar (no kidding!), it is a shitload more valuable than a Grammy (this is true), which nobody cares about or, God help us, an Emmy, which is totally  worthless (very fucking true) Those of you who sent adequate bribes have been handsomely rewarded.  You stingy bastards get nothing. Ready, Set, Go!

Read the rest of this entry »


Southern Star Blonde Bombshell

December 22, 2010

I am more of a brunette guy.  Both of my exes had dark hair, and  most of the women

The Blonde Bombshell of all Blonde Bombshells

I have dated had dark hair also.  That may just be my personal preference, or it might be that Blonde Bombshells are just way out of my league. Maybe I should start dating blondes, that might change my luck.

I am sure there is some primal explanation as to why men are attracted to blondes, some evolutionary reason explaining why blondes are more attractive to drunk guys at closing time.  As a simple beer blogger, such explanations are beyond my rudimentary thinking.  I cannot explain why, I just know it is so.

Not all Blondes are Bombshells.  The stereotypical ‘ditzy blonde’ is never a Bombshell.  To be a Bombshell requires more than just a blonde hair and a nice figure.  Bombshells are intelligent, often highly so, and their emotional intelligence is fine tuned.  Most of the ‘Baywatch’ blondes are not Bombshells.  They almost all have that vacuous look in their eyes that makes the prettiest girl unattractive. Read the rest of this entry »


Southern Star Pine Belt Pale Ale

December 1, 2010

Continuing in my journey through the generally excellent (and at least to me, surprisingly so) beers of Texas, we come to Southern Star Pine Belt Pale Ale. This might as well be marketed specifically to me as it is (1) a hoppy, piney, sticky-icky IPA and (2) it comes in a can, which as loyal readers know I have become a passionate champion for after my initial fuckwittery concerning canned beers. It pours a deep and cloudy orange, with some massive hops aroma and a foamy head with great retention.  At 6.5 % ABV, this is one beer to have when you are having more than one, as long as someone else is driving. This is a fantastic beer, 9/10, is in the starting rotation, and is damn close to being the ace of the staff.


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